The Plane Flight home...

This plane ride was 8 hours and 47 minutes....it makes me tired just thinking about it. So, you know the 85% that I talked about in an earlier post? Well, within the 85% there are smaller divisions. The President and Vice President of the Sleep Apnea division were seated in front of me...a 90 lb. man and his 600 lb. wife.


Side note: The lady sitting behind me had stopped the flight attendant and was talking to her about the meals on the plane. She was exlpaining how she had certain dietary restrictions and had to eat gluten free food only...she is CLEARLY a member of the 85%. Then she had the flight attendant ask me if I would please put my seat upright instead of having it recline. It was a request that had me caught so off guard that I just did it and couldn't think of any thing to say in response.

So, as I was sitting at a perfect 90 degree angle and listening to my Ipod, this lady in front of me decides that she wants to all of a sudden recline her chair. Moving at the speed of light, she mashes in the button and puts every once of her body weight into the chair so it comes flying back, gashing into both of my knees. Within a blink of an eye, my personal space had narrowed to zero. With my kneecaps throbbing and my seatback upright, I had to figure out another position. So, I turned to my side so that my hip bones were digging into the bottom of the seat and my knees were pointed to the side so that they could be rammed by the first drink cart that came cruising down the isle.

As I sat in the most humanly possible uncomfortable position, the lady in front of me slipped on her neck pillow and drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Then I started to notice an awful lot of people turning their heads and looking in my direction. I removed my blaring earphones to try to figure out what was going on. The lady in front of me (fully equipped with an eye mask, earplugs, and a neck pillow) was fast asleep and snoring like a boarhog. There is no doubt in my mind that she snores louder than Jack Utz, Wesley Wheeler, Jimmy Riddle, Wad, and Royal put together. I was genuinely embarassed for her....for the next 7 hours.